The time has come for you and I to talk about goals. Not squad goals, I mean actual life goals. Like doing big things and hashtag winning and what have you.
It’s time for…
Everyone starts the year strong, but we run into these marathons without enough understand of how to deal when temptations come or we have too strong of a reaction to failure.
So, sure, a great first step is to say:
“I’m going to keep track of all the foods I eat.”
But is that what you’re actually doing? Are you leaving out that one Twix bar or coffee cream because you think it’s not big enough to impact your goals?
Little differences do count, yes indeedy. If you’ve been caught in this trap too, and hey, no shame!, just start to pay more attention to your intention.
This way, when the year is up, maybe you won’t feel like you screwed yourself over.
complacency will kill your goals
The lesson I want to pass along today is a simple one. So basic, and so overlooked.
We get lazy when we don’t write our goals down. We get tired and fall into our habits.
We think we are fine and let time pass without being responsible for our goals.
We’ll continue justifying every misstep and then get discouraged, get annoyed, and give up. We’re left racing for the finish line but we’re being our own headwind.
People! Listen to me!
Give your Goals the attention they deserve
Write everything down. Obsess over your Evernote! Revel in your writing. Praise those post-its!
Have memos stuck on your mirror, in your car, in your snack drawer at work, on the back of your cell, up your nose…. just so long as you notice it!
Agreeing to a goal is easy and we do it all. the. time…. but we are absolute numb-nuts when it comes to sticking to it. Why are we so anti-commital? Why is that we are the f**kboys of our dreams? For crying out loud, how many of us have actually hit one new years resolution?
We’re promising these grandiose visions of lipstick and long legs with an endless bank account but still dropping our last dime on a shot of Jameson. Yep…that’s right. Our last dime going to weight gain and an impending headache.
I love getting my drank on as much as anyone but when you put on paper what you’re putting into your body and have to face the cold hard truth: you’re a cold-hearted b***h to yourself, welp, it kinda sucks.
You do this and you’re not even giving yourself an honest chance at success.
Write them once, review them 2x daily
I’m the girl that’s been battling weight since age 0. “Why can’t I lose weightttttt,” will be my final bleating call over my 30 pack of Miller Lite (Miller Lite: because every calorie saved counts hee hee).
Listen to me, meine liebling:
If thou do not write it down, if thou doth not track it, IT SHANT HAPPEN.
-the Great Modern Day Philosopher, Kristen Feytotle
At the risk of annoyance, I’ll go on ahead and repeat myself: Write it the eff down ya lil half pint!!
Put it into words, and look at it every morning and every night. No excuses here. I’m literally asking you to write and review. It takes up, like, 2 minutes of your day IF THAT.
goal setting is as easy as 1, 2, 3
These are your goal setting steps. Let’s walk through it and then it’s all up to you to hone it, tone it, rinse & repeat.
Step One: Dream it.
Dream what the ideal situation is for you. Break your big task into bite-size, 20 calories pieces. Don’t limit here. If you want to be the next Beyonce, that’s cool, but how are you going to get there? Do you think the queen earned her crown by procrastinating? Hell nah.
Write it down and start doing. This brings me to the next step…
step t(w)o and Do it.
Take action immediately. Pay attention to where you stumble. Knowing where you mess up does not have to mean a failure. Recognize what went wrong and try again. It might be that your gym is too far from your work and that makes it less likely you go.
Snackaholic? Plan out your snacks. Plan out when and what you’ll snack on.
Big spender at casino nights when you’re with your bros? Why don’t you have a rainy day fund and just bring your allotted cash?
Don’t have the time? If you have 5 minutes to check Facebook, you have 5 minutes to build your empire. Make the swap and don’t do more than 5 minutes a day. Anyone can do 5 minutes, and after a while, the habit will be built and then you can add on more time.
We have hacks for everything, and if you’re stuck – just ask me!!
Step three: Hone it, tone it.
As we go along, we’ll find out what activities work and what don’t. We’ll figure out where we stumble and we’ll set more specific goals to maintain our accountability. Keep the dream in mind, but use your past trials and, if you’re like me, your bountiless errors to help you refine ways to reach the dream.
Rinse & repeat.
Motivation is a liar. Its strong for us in moments. Maybe Mondays, at the start of the week, at the beginning of a month, maybe it’s strong with the new moon but you can bet your bottom Jameson -stained dollar that this willpower you feel ain’t lasting long.
To keep up motivation, we have to trick ourselves back into it with metrics and tracking true success in a way that resonates with us.
Bet you didn’t think I was gonna math yo’ ass up, huh? Okay, not so much math, but definitely tracking. Weight loss? Actually get your butt on a scale. Write that number down at the same time every day. Have your measurements and track that along the way. My weight did not change one OUNCE during a 6 week paleo binge but yo baby girl here lost 4 inches off her waist and you best believe that got me kicked right back into gear with my workouts and diet. If one motivates you over the other, chase that other option. Take pictures every day if that makes you feel it more.
what you track matters
Have a calendar and put a big, fat X over every day you skipped writing or running and have this stare you in your face. Tracking minimizes our tendency to see negativity and failures. It’ll help us keep our focus. It’ll hold us responsible. It’ll be why we see results. It’ll gift us with the knowledge to see what works for us and what doesn’t.
All of this is our first step. I have a lot more to say about this, and I’m really excited to start on this journey with you all.
Take your goal setting seriously
Please use this outline to succeed. Because you can. You can actually do everything you want to but you have to be ready to battle the temptations, the obstacles, and the plateaus.
There’s never a right time to get going on this – but maybe that’s the point.
Maybe that’s why we are resilient creatures even after our 10th cupcake. Maybe change doesn’t have to come until we have first failed 100 times. Maybe we don’t need to wait for Monday to start doing something about our goals. Our moment can be after a food binge, after a drink binge.
Our moment can be mid-afternoon on a Wednesday, maybe after you’re 100th interview and 100th rejection. If you’re open pain and shame being teachers, you’ll come out for the better. All this shit that happens to you – all that stuff that feels like it’s keeping you down – can be one of the biggest reasons you end up succeeding. All of that becomes fuel to your fire, and to your success.
Maybe it doesn’t matter if the timing doesn’t seem right because it never is so the right time. So all that means is that it’s best if we just decide to start, and to start now.
There’s no better place to start than at the beginning. Goal #1. What’s yours?
In love and writing,
Your secret admirer
P.S. – time to say hello to a new goal? How about niceness? Start HERE.